I can’t rest or work or settle down to anything while things are like this between you and me. Why not? Imagine I’ve had a fit of hysteria—and that I’ve come round. “Not much. ’ He laughed. ” “May I be prepared?” Anna asked. The act was mechanical, a bit of sparring for time: his anger was searching about for a new vent. For a big-bellied glass is the palette I use, And the choicest of wine is my colour; And I find that my nose takes the mellowest hues The fuller I fill it—the fuller! IV. ‘Gone!’ he said. But of course the money will not be refunded. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart.
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